This morning, I woke up with this song on my mind:
Something On My Mind (by Hawk Nelson)
Take the train,
Go separate ways,
And leave it long forgotten.
I’ll hang my hat,
and I won’t be back.
On my way out,
I’m feeling lame.
Am I to blame?
Or am I just too jaded?
And I won’t be back,
what’d ya think of that?
When it feels like life’s wastin’ away,
I can say: that when
There’s something on my mind,
It takes my concentration.
Just wanna lay it on the line,
Avoid all confrontation.
I’m gonna say this one more time
for all my generation,
you’ll never, ever pull my lever
not today and not forever (not today and not forever)
Those last two lines are the ones that were repeating over and over in my head when I woke up. As I sat in bed, a whisper against my heart said: Don’t let him yank your chain.
I didn’t need an explanation. I knew what God was referring to:
I was broadsided this last week. No, no, not by a vehicle…by, as my mother used to call him, Old Slewfoot, the devil. He came at me, plaguing me with lies I didn’t expect: you messed up; God isn’t happy with you; you done, finito, terminaste. 🙁 And it stopped me like an old steam locomotive chugging to a stop. I pulled back, mournful and grief-stricken that I might have stepped off the track. I prayed and groaned and moaned (don’t believe me? Ask Dineen! or Heather! or Shannon! or Beth!–how embarrassing!!!!).
Anyway, I am blessed with amazing friends who were praying hard for me. Those prayers rescued me. I can see now those claims for what they were: LIES. I gave it to God and have pressed on with my writing and the direction God gave me.
And so it is…I pray that my eyes are opened, that the scales are gone, that I can see things once gain with a perspective that is the Lord’s.
So, tell me…is the devil yankin’ your chain? Telling you that you’re a bad mother? A horrible writer? A wash up? As I am fond of saying…KICK HIM TO THE CURB!!! Grip the Truth–You are God’s child, completely accepted, totally forgiven, unimaginably loved!!