Well, I’ve really been itching to get back to the REAL reason I started this blog–the whole “more of God, less of me” saying. In the last few months, I’ve really been aching for more of Him in my life because things have been pretty rough on me. After the release of my first book and many things that happened along the journey, I wanted to walk away. I was hurt–no, crushed. Disillusioned. Felt abandoned. And I knew–KNEW I could not continue on like that.
And in that time, God has been teaching me to rely on Him for my affirmation. To stop looking to family, friends, “fans,” or even my dogs (fuzzy and cute as they may be). So when I was in a local Christian bookstore recently, I spotted a little red book on the Bestseller wall. I’d seen it online and remembered it talking about being in love with God, about His passionate love and pursuit of us.
So, I picked it up. Fanned through the pages. It stopped on a chapter titled “Profile of the Lukewarm.” When I felt a thump in my chest, I knew I had to buy it. I don’t want to be lukewarm, I told my daughters on the way home after buying it. I don’t want Jesus to spew me from his mouth.
Today, I read through the preface and chapter one. And BAWLED!! You have to go here and watch this video: CRAZY LOVE: AWE FACTOR After I watched it, I couldn’t move. In fact, I closed the door to my office, got on my knees, and bawled.
“Who am I, God, that you love me?”
I hope the video touches you. I’ve determined that I’m going to blog this journey with you. As Chan says in the preface, “We need to stop giving people excuses not to believe in God.” I want a passionate love and pursuit to consume me–to compel me to search for God with all that I am.