I believe there are dangerous prayers. Ya know–the kind you pray, not fully realizing what you’re really asking for. Ones that leave you bruised, battered, but in the end–at least during the trial, you hope–stronger.
PATIENCE – I learned in my teens what a “punishing” experience praying for patience can be. My fabulous friend and crit partner Robin Caroll Miller has all but banned the P-word from her home, life, and vocabulary. The other day, she mentioend it, and I think she needed a valium. *grins*
WILL – Well…I’m in the middle of learning what happens when you pray–and I truly mean PRAYING and earnestly meaning it–NOT MY WILL, LORD, BUT YOURS. Because, in complete honesty, don’t we all go to God in prayer with certain expectations and outcomes in mind? And maybe you’ve had God override your preferences…but has he done this in something excruciatingly important to you?
Thou Shall Not Pass
Recent and brutal trials (part of the reason it’s been a month since I last posted!!) have swamped my life. I have been so broken in the last few days that the mere thought of something I am actively petitioning–okay, okay, BEGGING–God about that it has brought me to tears every time. I have felt blocked, as in Gandalf and Thou Shall Not Pass. LOL I am utterly raw and broken. And I’ve cried out, asking God how He could allow this to continue…
And in His ever-so-gentle and loving way, He reminded me that not only have I prayed for His will, but that His will would override mine.
OUCH! So, I’ve been wrestling to keep my mouth shut, my heart right, and my thoughts on Him (not on the thing I’m praying for that hasn’t happened YET). Tonight, I was reading Philippians 4:6 because the verse has been trailing me through these last few weeks. And I had an epiphany–the only thing that is assured in submitting our requests to God through prayer and supplication is a peace that surpasses all understanding.
Well. Huh (as Mal from Serenity would say). Right now, that’s about all I have. I know that I know that I know God is working this situation out for my benefit. It’s certainly not happening the way I wanted (yes, I’ve mentioned this to God a few times in recent…minutes). But I truly want His will. I know that He knows the future. He knows what’s best for me. I have one little corner of the world that I view from a really skewed perspective called Mine. 🙂
Then, also today, I realized that all of this has most likely come about because of a prayer that unwittingly (yes, I mean that tongue-in-cheek) slipped across my tongue. LORD, TEACH ME TO TRUST YOU.
Wowie-kazowie. Enter that prayer with EXTREME CAUTION. LOL You see, I grew up with some less than ideal circumstances, experienced abuse, and had zero trust in anyone. I took care of myself in terms of protecting myself. And I think God decided it was time for me to learn how to trust Him. It was heart-wrenching to realize I didn’t–I had to remedy it because if you love someone, you trust them.
So, what about you? What dangerous prayers have you prayed lately that altered your life?